The Amarillo Pioneer

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Rosser's Ramblings: Dog Days of Christmas

By Trent Rosser

Can you believe we have all of our of our Christmas shopping done? Well, at least the main stuff, the expensive presents are all wrapped and under the tree. All we have left are the presents for a few friends, and the finger foods for when we open gifts. Plus we have to get Christmas presents for the dogs. At least that's what my wife says anyhow. Presents for the dogs? Really? I think that they get enough presents throughout the year. You know, food, treats, trips to the dog park. That should be enough. My wife acts as if they deserve presents. I don't think so. Especially Hunter the dog. If you remember, I have wrote about Hunter many times. He hogs the bed and tries to choke me out while I'm sleeping. He has jumped up on the counter and ate my pizza that my wife cooked. And worst of all, he will not let me hug my wife. We will embrace each other and he will start barking and howling and jump up in between us to try to separate us. He is a jerk! Santa knows what he does and there is no way he will be getting nothing but coal in his stocking. But then again, he likes coal. He keeps tearing up my charcoal bags and I will come home to charcoal strung across the backyard. He doesn't eat them, just throws them in the air and plays with them. So even if he did get charcoal for Christmas, he would like it. Think about it, does he help pay rent? No. Does he help clean the house? No. Does he pick up his own poop?  No. Does he have a job? Again, this is a now. My wife and I do all of these things while Hunter just sits there and watches us. He does nothing to help around the house. Yes, he does guard the house by barking at every person that walks down the street. He does protect us from the evil squirrel that runs up and down the fence line and trees. He does make sure that the neighborhood cats don’t come too close to the house. And yes, he does protect the other dog (Hades) and our cat (Marco). That is about all he does. So, does he deserve a present from Santa? Absolutely not! So, when my wife ask what we are getting Hunter for Christmas, I will tell her, “NO WAY he is getting a Christmas present!”

So, we went to the store to look for Hunter's Christmas present. My wife has such a way with words. What do you get a dog that has everything, and gets just about everything he wants? We could get him another rope. He loves to play tug of war, but at 110 pounds, he rips our arms out of socket just playing with him. My wife tried to take him for a walk once, but only once. He drugged her down the street. That is how big he is. We have bought them chew toys, but they are chewed up within the first day.  We can’t get them stuffed animals. I know some dogs like stuffed animals to cuddle with, but Hunter chews them up and tries to eat the stuffing. It is bad for him to eat stuffing. It blocks their intestines. So that is something else we can’t get him. He will get a new set of tennis balls, to replace the charcoal that was scattered throughout the yard. So that is one little thing, but what else to get him. Then, out of nowhere, it hit me. The perfect gift for Hunter the dog. A new bed!

We have a king size bed, but when Hunter decides to sleep with us (which is just about every night) my wife and I end up sleeping on the edge with no covers. She is on the edge of one side of the bed, I'm on the edge of the other. Hades is a normal dog that sleeps at the end of the bed, but Hunter is sprawled out hogging all of the bed in between all of us. He is on top of the covers and we cannot pull them on top of us. Then, when he rolls over, he slaps one of us with his paws. We cannot actually remember when we had a real good night's sleep. So a bed would be perfect for him. Now we can’t get one of his little beds that they sell at pet stores, no we need at least a full size bed. Reason being, is that he would chew up the dog bed and try to eat the stuffing again. We have bought one of those before. He will need a large full size bed with a headboard. No, this won't work either. He will still jump in our bed and then my wife and I would move to the full size bed and then he would follow us there also. So I’m still stuck on what to get Hunter the dog?

Finally, we figured it out. Something that Hunter would love. He has one toy that he has not been able to chew up. It is oval shaped, hard rubber toy with 2 openings on each side. You fill it with little treats or peanut butter and he will play with it for hours, or until the treats or peanut butter has been all licked out of the toy. He will then bring it to you to fill back up. When we pull these toys out, he goes crazy. It is his favorite toy, but it is a few years old now. So this year, for Christmas, Hunter the dog will be getting a new toy and a case of peanut butter for Christmas. This will be from Santa. I personally will be getting him is own special present. A lock on the bedroom door!

Merry Christmas from Hunter the dog and the rest of the Rosser Family



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