The Amarillo Pioneer

Amarillo's only free online newspaper. Established in 2016, we work to bring you local news that is unbiased and honest.


Rosser's Ramblings: Chemical Warfare

by Trent Rosser

Hunter has been on the same dog food for all of his young life. He started out on puppy chow and shortly after he moved on to the good stuff. He now eats Gravy Train. How many of y'all remember the commercials for Purina puppy chow? The little covered wagon and horses running around the house with the little puppies chasing after it. It was cute, but like I said, Hunter has now graduated to gravy train and he loves it. He will eat it dry, but he likes it better when you add water and make gravy out of it. I usually feed him 2 cups of dry in the morning and 2 cups of dry with the gravy in the evening. On special evenings, I not only feed him the dry but instead of only mixing water with it, I will mix water and the wet gravy train from a can.  He has learned to sit patiently while I mix everything in his bowl.

Marco just recently graduated to cat food from kitten chow. Nine Lives with crunchy on the outside and meaty on the inside is what he is eating now. Like Hunter, he loves it. We feed him the same time that we feed Hunter and every time they both act as if they have never ate before in their entire life. Both throw their face in their bowl and neither one will come up for air until it is all gone. Even the treats that we give them, they don’t taste them, they inhale them. Now I told you that story to tell you this story. Yes, there is a point to them both.

I have talked about how Marco and Hunter play with each other, or more like how the 2 pound cat attacks the 90 pound dog. They really did like each other at first. Now I am not sure if they are playing or if Hunter really is trying to kill Marco. He chases the cat all around the house and Marco is always knocking things off the shelf of the entertainment center trying to get away from him. Every now and then Hunter is a little quicker and will catch him. Hunter will pin him down, let him up and then chase him again. Marco does bring it on himself. He is the one that starts it by attacking Hunter. Poor Hunter will be asleep, and out of nowhere, here comes a flying cat landing right on top of Hunters head. We also have a circle in our house. You can walk into the dining room, turn left into the kitchen, turn left again into the living room, and turn left again into the hallway and right back into the dining room. So now they also play tag by running around the house in a circle. The fun part is when they hit the linoleum in the dining room and kitchen then try to stop. They both slide into the cabinets or under the kitchen table.

Unfortunately the worst of this war between the two have started to take on civilian casualties. Sharon and I have started to get injured because of them. This is where the two stories connect. In their game of war, they have used every means possible to get each other in trouble. Hunter points to the Christmas tree when Marco was unwrapping the presents and Marco would get in trouble. Then Marco will let us know when Hunter is eating the cat food out of his bowl and Hunter gets in trouble. And of course it sounds like a herd of elephants running through the house when they are playing tag around the circle.  Hunter will run through the house and nearly knock us down and Marco will run across us and scratch us with is claws. But now they have resorted to chemical warfare! That is right, all will be calm. Marco asleep on my lap and Hunter asleep at my feet and then it hits us.

I have smelled some horrible things in my life. I have worked for the City of Canyon in the sanitation dept picking up trash. I also worked for the water dept there and was up to my waste in sewage while repairing sewer lines. The sewage lines and landfill of Canyon  smells like roses and sweet summer breeze compared to Hunter and Marco. You have heard the old saying “smelled so bad it could peel paint off the walls” but have you ever seen it happen. Come to my house one night. Here is the problem. We don’t know which animal does it when it happens. We do know that both of them are doing it. The dog will be outside and the cat will be the only animal in the room. Then the smell hits us. Sometimes I put the cat in the spare bedroom while I work on my column and Hunter will the only animal in the room and it will it us again. So we know that it is both animals.  Poor Sharon and I are caught in the crossfire of both of them. We have tried to get them to sign a peace treaty and get different food, but Hunter will only eat Gravy Train. Since getting Marco and Hunter we have had to deal with a lot of things. The last few months we have been watching another dog named Hades for one of our kids until he moves into a home from his apartment. Today, we have been informed that it would not be a good idea to separate him from Hunter and Marco. So now we have another dog. He has been here for a while and he knows Marco and Hunter. Hunter and Hades play and Marco attacks both of them. From Hunter getting neutered, to Marco with a very bad flea infestation when we rescued him, Sharon and I worked together and came through all the problems, and we will survive this little war also. If it gets too bad, we will start to feed them beano and invest stock in Febreze!  I just need help with one thing. Please send your scented candles and smell goods to my house! 

Photo by Top Dog Tips

Photo by Top Dog Tips

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