The Amarillo Pioneer

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Rosser's Ramblings: The Dog Days of Summer

By Trent Rosser

Well, it is that time of year again when the sun comes shining through the window and wakes everyone up at the buttcrack of dawn, which is usually about 2 hours before your alarm goes off. Where the coolest part of the day is about 3 A.M. and the heat of the day is starting to become unbearable. Where your gas bill goes down, but your electric bill skyrockets because every fan and swamp cooler in the house is going; that time of year when the dogs don’t move. Even if someone is breaking into the house, they will not attack, unless the burglar has ice cream. The time of year where the mosquitoes and flies are as common as an orange traffic cone is on I-40.

Yep, it is the beginning of the summer months.

People have always asked what my favorite season is, and I always have said spring. I love the showers and the rain coming down all night long. The smell of fresh dew as it is glistening on the lush green grass. But, all good things must come to an end. Summer is the end of my spring. Don’t get me wrong, I do love summer much more than I do winter. Some say winter is better because you can always add more layers of garments to keep you warm. That is true, but I hate cold so much that I would have my entire wardrobe on. Plus I would have to make sure that I can take it off in time to use the bathroom. In the summer time you can always shed some clothes. But then again, there are some things that no one needs to see.

So summer is officially here and I was ready. My lawnmower that I bought brand new last year, was ready to go. The dogs have a new swimming pool to play in and yes, Hades the Dog already made sure that I filled it up. The air conditioners are in the proper windows for the maximum disbursement of cool air. The winter wardrobe put in the guest closet and summer short sleeves shirts cleaned and put in the bedroom closet. I was ready. After all, the last few years we haven't had much of a spring, so I was prepared early!

When we had the first bit of rain, suddenly there were weeds all in the yard. I could not believe where they all came from. So I did what came natural; I sat on the porch and cussed the weeds. I eventually went and picked up weed killer. I spent an entire Saturday afternoon spraying the yard. Two days later, the weeds were dead or dying. The grass started to look good. Then it kept raining, but I didn’t mind until it was time to mow. It was another all day thing just mowing all the grass. This last time, though, something happened. I was halfway done with the yard and the mower quit. It would not start again. This mower was bought brand new last year and nothing should be wrong with it. So, this past weekend, I tear into it to try to find the problem. Have I mentioned that I am NOT a lawnmower mechanic?  When I put it back together, it still would not start and now I have all these extra parts that I have no clue where they went! So my grass is starting to look like the amazon jungle.

When I bought the swimming pool, the look on Hunter and Hades face was priceless. They knew exactly what it was and couldn't wait to use it like they did the old one. When the old one was empty this past winter, they would run around the yard, jump in the empty swimming pool and slid across the concrete driveway. They almost took out the fence a couple of times. The first thing I did was fill it with water. Hunter, as usual took off and wanted nothing to do with the water, Hades, did what he always does to water as it is coming out of the hose. He tries to bite the water. He almost drowns himself trying to get the water before it hits the ground. I said it before, and will say it again, the damn dog likes to be waterboarded!

After I get a little water in it, they both jump in and play. It helps them cool off during the hot days, but again, with all the rain, it has filled up to the top. It's now full of rain water, a little moss and a lot of leaves  from the tree above where I put the pool. So now I had to dump it out and refill it. I could usually pick up on end of the pool and the water would fall out of the other end until I could pick the entire thing up, but now with it completely full, I could not lift it up. I had to get a pitcher and scoop the water out enough to where I could pick it up. Guess what happened? When I was able to pick it up, it slipped out of my hand and all the water came back and sloshed out exactly where I was standing. I was soaked from my knees down. My shoes and pants were dripping with mossy, stinky water. Did I mention that the mosquitoes were also out. Yet, now I was their new meal for the night. Got it emptied and refilled and then walked back into the house, all over the wet floor that my wife just mopped.

Then the air conditioners were turned on. I put them in the windows and forgot a major thing about installing an air conditioner that has been in storage for 6 months. I did not tear them down and clean them. I knelt down looking at the first one when I turned it on and nothing but dirt and dust exploded out right into my face. Luckily, I cleaned the other ones before I put them in the window! I was almost to the point where I was ready for winter. But then again, winter is cold, and I do not like the cold!

All in all, it was a very nice spring with an abundance of rain. We even had a couple of floods, which I do not like, but I will never complain about the rain. I sense that spring is now over and the dog days of summer has begun. Now if I can get a swamp cooler to blow on my front porch as I watch the traffic drive by would be nice. Not sure if I would be able to see any traffic with the jungle in the front yard. By the time I get the mower fixed, I will need a machete, a whip, and a cool hat like Indiana Jones.

Wait? Was that Tarzan I just heard?



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