The Amarillo Pioneer

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Rosser's Ramblings: My Big Announcement

By Trent Rosser

I have sat back and watched the turmoil that has been going on within the city council for quite some time now. I have watched as council members and the Mayor has split the city. People are hurting and the city has been divided. Many approve of the council and the Mayor, and many do not. I, as a citizen of this great city, has had enough. I can no longer stand watching our fine city being drug through the mud across national news due to actions of the city council. Therefore, I, Trent Rosser, am officially throwing my hat into the ring for Mayor! Plus, I will also be running for city council as well. All council seats!  Just in case I lose the Mayor vote, there is always the city council!

Some have asked me “What is my platform.” I don’t have any platform. I know many women that wear platform shoes, and even some rock bands wear them. I understand that some men do wear them to make them look a little taller. I am 6ft tall so i really don’t need a platform. Another question I have been asked about my political agenda is “What are you running on?” Let's get something straight, I DON”T RUN! Unless Michael Myers or Freddy Krueger is chasing me, I will walk or drive. Here is an example, The convenience store is less than a block away from me. I will not “run” to the store, I get in the car and drive there.

No matter who my opponent might be, I will NOT be running a smear campaign. I refuse to sling dirt. I deal enough in dirt and mud at work, there is no need to throw mud at my opponent. Also, if I did hit my opponent with dirt and mud, I could get assault charges filed against me. I am no longer on the wrong side of the law. Therefore, I will not sling mud or dig up dirt and throw it on my opponent. No matter who it is!

Some might ask me if I am right-wing or left-wing. The answer is simple. I am a no wing. That is right. When I was born, I was born human. I do not have any wings and I need the assistance of an airplane if I am required or want to fly. If I need to go from one place to another, I drive. This refers back to me “Running”. So therefore, I am neither. Am I an independent, you ask? I guess you can say that I am. After all, no one can claim me on their taxes since I was 18! So no I am not a dependent on anyone's taxes so I guess it does make me an independent. Will I be Bipartisan, which is an effort that brings both parties together in mutual agreement. Yes! the bigger the party the better! We could serve finger foods at the party and have dances and if it is big enough, maybe a couple of bands would show up.

Some have asked what I think of the new baseball field that is being constructed. Personally, my opinion doesn't matter. It is the people that I would be working for. Will I be a part of a “Bailout” if it does fail? Maybe, after all, everyone deserves a second chance. It will depend on how much the bail bonds company will cost and what the charges are. Without all the information, I'm not sure I would bail out anyone!

Now, I will admit, I don't know much about politics, but I believe that I could be a good champion for the people of Amarillo! I might not know  a lot of the meanings  of words that are thrown out during political campaigns, but I am pretty sure I can figure them out. For example, “Fiscal Responsibility”  which is pronounced as “Fist Cow Responsibility” which means trimming the hooves of cows so they don’t get too big and make them look like they are walking on fist. I am pretty sure it is bad for the cows and it looks like it might hurt! We must be responsible and check to make sure no animals do not have the “Fist Cow”. Budget cuts will be something I will need to brush up on. I will have to go through it with a fine tooth comb. First cuts will be some of the employee payrolls. Not the employee workers but some of the “higher ups”. There is no reason that a hard sanitation worker or water meter reader gets paid pennies on the dollar while city managers are pulling in a 6 figure income.  We would no longer be considered the construction capital of the world either. All construction will have a reasonable deadline, and if they fail to complete the deadline, another project will NOT be started.

I will help put Amarillo back on the map as a great place to visit! We will do everything we can to get concerts and festivals back to this area! Everyone will be allowed to speak at city council meetings, and clapping will always be allowed! I will work with all council members to come up with solutions that all citizens bring us. I will not work for any of the political groups that are wanting certain things for a payoff or for a vote in their favor. I will move to make sure that all media has a chance to interview myself and my views. I will always be there at every meeting. I will ...... Wait. This is starting to sound like a lot of work. Oh well, it's not like I actually have to attend the city council meetings! Remember,Vote for Trent for Mayor, or City Council Place 1, or City Council Place 2, or City Council Place 3 or.... Oh forget it.

I guess my wife summed it up when I asked “Honey, what do you think if I run for Mayor?” Her reply was priceless “You would win Mayor of Idiotville!”

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