The Amarillo Pioneer

Amarillo's only free online newspaper. Established in 2016, we work to bring you local news that is unbiased and honest.


Rosser's Ramblings: Flying Mashed Potatoes

by Trent Rosser

Ham, turkey, and stuffing, it is that time of year again! That time when all the family gets together to see who can cook the best and who can eat the most.  This year one of my daughters was suppose to be making the Thanksgiving dinner. This was going to be her first year to do this. Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time to give thanks and I was grateful that this was going to happen at her house this year. If you remember from last year our grandson started a food fight with his mash potatoes. My wife had done a “deep” clean on the house and it ended up with flying mash potatoes and cranberry sauce between his little fingers, and he was putting those fingers everywhere!  I was looking forward to hearing my daughter say that she will take care of everything but would like for me to cook my famous ham. Instead I received some bad news. Thanksgiving will be at our house again!

So, first thing I did was give a small sigh. It was a sigh of relieve and of frustration.  Frustration because the house will be getting trashed and we will be having to cook all day long. Relief because I know my wife’s cooking and I know it will taste good. That is not to say that my daughter can’t cook. I just never had her cooking so I do not know if it is good or not. Plus this way I know that everything that will be cooked, will be cooked up to par. Except for deviled eggs, my wife and I have already had the conversation that I am not to cook the deviled eggs. Apparently I put too much vinegar in them and no one can eat them. I remember eating them last year without a problem.  Just because I liked them and no one else ate them does not mean that we need to have them made by someone else and they don’t use any vinegar. That’s preposterous, deviled eggs without vinegar. What is wrong with this country? Next thing you know they will put marshmallows on sweet potatoes!

I am still wondering how this is going to work. You see, since the football players have started to kneel during the national anthem, we have banned football. This doesn’t bother me that much. I was never really into football, but my wife was. Sharon’s team was the Denver Bronco’s and she is the one that said no more football. I was really surprised. Now most of the rest of her family are big Dallas Cowboy fans.  So what in the world are we going to watch on Thanksgiving? We can’t watch football. Sharon said no. So do we watch a movie? We will need to find a movie that no one has seen. One that has no profanity (due to a 3 year old grandson), and one that is not a big purple dinosaur singing stupid songs. Maybe play games like dominoes or board games like monopoly. Maybe put a cartoon on the TV for the grandkid and play poker. Nothing like saying “I love you” by winning all the rent money from your sister.

 Either way we do it, movie, football or games. The outcome will be the same. We will relax and eat some good food, and hopefully all will have a good time.  I also know that I will eat so much that I will be miserable. I already can see it. All of us so miserable that we can’t move; including the dog and cat. Hunter on the floor and Marco on the armchair of the couch, the entire family panting due to belly’s bursting at the seam. No one will want to put the kitchen back to its original state. Every time we go in, we will start snacking and will not be able to stop, and that is when we will realize, we forgot to put the desert on the table. So round 2 begins. But the main thing is not the food. It is not the company that will be coming over. It will not be the family putting aside our differences for 1 day. No, the main thing will be keeping the mash potatoes off the walls.

How do we keep the fiasco from last year from happening this year? The answer is easy, we don’t. If the grandkid wants to play, then so be it. We will let him play. He is young and not a care in the world. Who are we to take that away from him? If he wants to mix cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes in between his fingers, then so be it. If he wants to feed the dog and cat under the table, then it will happen. We did it when we were young and I cannot expect any less.        

Thanksgiving is about giving thanks. Thanks to the military for our freedom. Thanks to God for providing us with all we have. Thanks for allowing me into your home to tell my silly stories each week. Thanks to my family for keeping myself entertained and giving me stories to write, especially with flying mashed potatoes.

From my family to yours; Happy Thanksgiving!

Photo by Pillsbury

Photo by Pillsbury

Canyon Police See Three Vehicle Burglaries in One Day

McNutt Files for County Clerk, Setting Up 2018 Showdown